Free as a Bird

So, I borrowed this AMAZING book called Waking the Dead from an awesome man from church. (of course I borrowed it about a year ago, I'm so bad!) This chapter was concerning counseling. We have so many wounds that came from the people close to us, whether family or friends. John Eldredge talks about how God brings back memories for a reason. "Go with him there. He has something to say to you." Our God heals and counsels.

It blows my mind every time I am (once again) reminded of how much God loves me. I am not perfect, FAR from it, but to know that God loves me...I mean, truly loves me, is a big deal. These emotions that arise within us at times: fear, sadness, anger, regret, are all opportunites or rather, invitations to go with him "into the deep waters of the heart." I have never thought about that before. These emotions are an invitation by God, to learn about my own heart and what God has to say about it.

My heart is good. Your heart is good. God made our hearts to be good. Wow. What have you learned about your own heart? I've learned over the years, that my heart is a waste of time. I've learned that its passions are "pathetic" and weak. I've learned that my heart is a laughing matter. I have seriously learned that over the years. Somewhere deep down, haven't you known that your heart was good?

Now, I have learned so much in the past seven years or so. All by the grace of God, I realized (through a tough and in my case, traumatic, conversation) that I was "better than that." I began to learn that my heart was and is good. It was like a spark lit in my mind and I all of the sudden knew that I had a greater purpose. Weirdest thing, if I do say so myself. God showed me what I didn't want to become. This made me run the other direction, which was finally the RIGHT direction. God became my true guide for the first time when I was sixteen. Through that, he taught me all about his love. Since he was my guide, my parent and my role model, he showed me how much he loved me. He showed me what was good about me and what could be changed. ...but mostly his love. It never hit me that God loved me unconditionally until I met Chris.

I remember hurting myself one day and I thought to tell Chris. I don't remember telling him about it before then, so this might have been a shock to him. I don't know. I think I was waiting for him to go into shock at what I did, but he didn't. He wasn't scared at all. He carried me, in a sense. He held my hand, while he was the one with the strength in that moment. I remember being blown away by his gentless and care. Who would or could even love someone like this? Someone like me? Jesus, what?!! I don't get it! God, for real?

I went on forever and a day asking God if I was dreaming. Is this love? What is this? I am being spoiled? Does he actually care?

God started trying to get me to see how much he loved me and how much my sins didn't make him love me any less. I am beautiful to him. He was trying to get me to see that and grasp that. Well, I have been so blessed by God and I DO see his love for me now. I still don't understand it, and I may never understand it, but I have finally accepted his love. ...and it is freeing!

Photography Part 2

Something I forgot add...

Starting in August of this year, I will be moving to Americus, Georgia. It is simply an hour south of central Georgia, give or take a few minutes. I hope to continue providing shoots for those in the Warner Robins/Perry/Macon area often. However, I look forward to the many opportunities living in Americus will bring!

Those of you in the Sumter County region, please feel free to contact me! As for now, I am still offering FREE shoots. I do not have the experience (I feel) to ask much of anyone except for their time and patience (with me, of course). I am simply learning and I would be HONORED to capture YOU.

Thank you for your support!

Photography

Hair & Make-Up by Stacy Gillespie

Thanks to my parents, my siblings and my friends I have been able to practice photography. I love photography and all the beautiful artwork it brings to the table. I would LOVE to be able to capture the beauty of all people. Capture their smiles, laughter, creativity, and the love they have for others around them. I would LOVE to be able to capture the wonderful life changing moments of the lives of others: a new baby, a marriage, an engagement and so much else! I long to show women how stunning they are and men, their strength.

I am not the most creative and not the most talented photographer, but I would love to learn SO much more concerning photography. I would love to be able to gain the experience.

I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family that allow me to take pictures of them. They are so good to me!

Wedding

As is stated in my profile, I am engaged. Well, my fiance and I picked a date in May...AUGUST 6TH, 2011!! I am SUPER excited! It has been a long wait, and I still cannot grasp the idea of becoming his wife!

What we have accomplished so far:

Booked ceremony venue

Booked reception venue
Booked photographer
Booked caterer
Bought/Received wedding gown & accessories


We have many things to finish! As of right now, we have to pick an invitation design, finish the guest list, buy decorations, order bridesmaid dresses, order groomsmen vests, order materials to make invitations, and other items necessary for the details of the wedding.

The wedding ceremony and reception are both going to be held in a barn right outside of town. :) Chris and I are both ecstatic about the location! I visited the first time, then brought him the second time and he loved it! The venue is a very cozy environment. It is a ten a.m. wedding, so it will be fairly nice weather. I can't say enough about the venue! I love love love it!

Our youth pastor from our senior year in high school is going to be our officiant. We are SO blessed to have such a wonderful man marry us! He has been a HUGE part in our growth as children of God. God used this man to make us soldiers that KNOW where we stand. God used this man to teach us to be warriors for Christ. Therefore, his position as our officiant is a MAJOR blessing and excitement!

Chris and I are growing every day...duh! :) We have our ups and downs but that is a result of being together for so long. We are learning more and more that we don't understand each other like we thought we did. ...haha! Some of you may understand that! We are still crazy about each other! We cannot wait to get married! We are excited about the journey God has for us once we are married! He has many many plans for us and he is constantly giving us more confidence in Him, praise Jesus!!

Anywho...I certainly hope that each of you are doing well! May the grace of God fill your days!!

In Christ.

Esther

So, some really exciting things...I don't know where to start.

You're the Living God, You're my Saving Grace, You will reign forever, You are Ancient of Days, You are Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End, You're my Savior, Messiah, Redeemer and Friend!...So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all, I'll stand my soul, Lord, to you surrendered all, all I am is Yours!! so come and take Your place in the center of our hearts! Come and take Your place, I need You God, to come and take Your place in the center of my heart!

So I haven't read much lately, but what I have read has been so encouraging. Jeremiah 23:16-17 talks about false prophets. "Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they will fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the Lord." They tell us lies that we tend to believe as humans. I'm pretty sure I didn't read in context, but what God showed me through this is how easily it can be for me to believe the lies that I hear everyday. I have prayed a lot lately that God would help me to see HIS TRUTH and not the lies that I hear about more often. He has blessed me so much in answering my prayer! I don't know how (and I don't need to) but God has helped me to see only HIS TRUTH! Praise Jesus!!

Just a few minutes ago I was reading some old Bible notes and I was reminded of the Scripture, Hosea 2:14-23. God reminded me of His love and passion for me. :) :) :) :) Which makes me happy!! Super happy! He reminded me of His promise to restore me, revive me! :) :) :) :) !!!!!! ...He is restoring me right now! This week has been so beautiful, and only because Christ has taken every step with me...holding my hand. I have been reading in Jeremiah this week and chapter 24 verse 7 has been encouraging as well. "I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart." :D :D :D :D I can't explain how exciting that is to hear!! ...but hopefully you who are reading this...understand my excitement!

Haha... I have been spending more time with my Father this week and when I got sick, I had to laugh. For those of you who don't know, every Thursday during the week I get to sing at Harvest, I get sick...some way, some how...whether it's emotions, anger, a cold...I get sick. I laughed when I realized that I am singing this week at Harvest and I'M SICK! My throat hurts and my nose is stuffed. ...but all thanks be to Christ for He heals me EVERY time, JUST IN TIME!!! My mom and I came to the realization my freshman year in college that I get physically ill on days I get involved in ministry. It used to be Mondays, now it's Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. Praise be to Jesus!!! What a mighty God we have! He has made me a threat to the devil! Rejoice in trials and temptations, for it is a chance to grow. James 1:2-4 "consider it pure joy, brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds..." THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!! YOU ARE MY LOVE!!!!!!!

I can't wait for the summer to start and we can have worship at my house on the weekends :) parrrrtaaayyyy...wit Jesus!!! :) I can't wait to worship with my brothers and sisters again...singing at the top of our lungs to our King!!!! The love of my life!!! So if any of my siblings through Christ read this...know that I will be planning some Saturday nights as a time of worship!...and hopefully I can help with music...I'll keep working on the keys. I want to grow closer to God with you guys even MORE! :) :) :)

I love and miss my friends from home, terribly. I remember youth in high school...I am so grateful for their friendship and love. I am so grateful for the respect that is shown! I am so grateful for their encouragement! Thank you guys! ...and thank you Jesus for sending me so much love!!!!

Forbidden Fruit

So, this is personal.

I really wish that I would start making the wise choice instead of picking the wrong ones. It's like, I see the wise choice, the choice that could change my whole life for the better,...but then I choose the forbidden fruit. I don't know what is in me to choose the wrong choice,...I know what I am supposed to do and I know what can happen if I choose what's right, but I still pick the wrong choice.

Since February, I have felt a heart for God but then my actions show none of it. Goodness!...this year is all about self-discipline! I need to strive towards that lesson...self-discipline...just DO what's right.

Hmm...This blog is no where near prepared. All of this is just what's popping out of my head.

I am longing for God and the glory of the Lord...I know that there is so much more!! ...but it's like Paul said...I want to do what's right but then I don't. I don't want to do what's wrong...but I do it anyways. ...sometimes I hate being human.

My fiance told me today about a dream he had last night...A woman and her husband had a daughter who was later kidnapped. The mother freaked and replaced her daughter with an inanimate object, in which she took care of just like she would her daughter. She bathed it, talked to it and everything! What do YOU think this means? I think of joy taken from me and how I panicked without it...so I replaced it with a fake love. This fake love was definitely not the same. ....

Hmm...let's see...what else is on my mind....

I am learning piano right now and the other day I was practicing a song...and the Holy Spirit was just like... POW!!! ...yayness! It excites me to see God's glory!...why don't I pursue it more? ...I don't know.

God is FAITHFUL

Jesus is so POWERFUL!! I cannot begin to describe to you how joyful He has made me!

As of right now, my family is undergoing some major house renovation and I have had to stay at my best friend's house because of it. All thanks be to Jesus, we have dove into the Word every night together and Christ has increased our love for Him immensely!

I have no words to give to you except for pure Scripture, so I will simply give you some references that really stuck out to me today and in this past week! (and there's a long list!)

If anything,...copying these references and keep them in your Bible, in your notebook or somewhere you will see them eventually. There are always those days where you have NO IDEA what you want to read, this list will come in HANDY. :) God's Word never returns void! Praise the Lord!!

Hosea 2:14-23
2 Timothy 2:1
2 Timothy 1:7
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Hebrews 2:1
2 Timothy 4:5
Hebrews 2:18
2 Corinthians 6:2
2 Corinthians 5:13-21
JOHN 4:14
John 1:46
1 Timothy 4:13-16
John 12:26
Romans 10:13
Galations 5:22-25
Galations 5:14
Galations 6:10
Romans 8:38-39
1 Peter2:11-12
1 Peter 3:15
1 Peter 3:8-9
1 Peter 3:12
Psalm 119:45
Psalm 119:65-66
1 Peter 5:7
Psalm 119:73
Psalm 119:75-77
Psalm 119:105
Psalm 119:110-113
Psalm 119:162
Psalm 119:168
Luke 11:28
Psalm 119:18
Psalm 119:36-38, 40
Psalm 119:29

May God's Word excite you in the name of Jesus Christ!

In Him.