Survival Mode

Okay guys...it's been quiet around here. Very...quiet...and I've been putting off writing about the things going on in my heart and mind lately. Partially because I've been so tired and partially because I can't really seem to get my thoughts together...but today I'm taking some advice from a great friend and counselor and being honest with you guys.

I'm in survival mode.

What do I mean by this, you ask?

We watch way too much TV. I lay around doing "nothing", way too much. We get out of the house in order to keep ourselves busy and entertained, way too much.

My almost two-year-old screams at me constantly and she seeks my affection and attention almost every single minute of the day. She doesn't seem to know what she wants and it causes chaos every hour.

Our conversations lately have sounded something like this...

"Do you want to watch doggy (Clifford)?"

She nods her head.

"Okay" Turn on Clifford.

She starts screaming "nooo!!!" and frantically runs around stomping.

"You said you wanted to watch doggy. What do you want to watch?"

"Anna" (aka Frozen)

"You want to watch Anna?"

She nods her head.

"Okay, let's watch Anna."

She starts screaming and stomping! "Nooo!!! Ack!!!"

"You just said you wanted to watch Anna. You don't want to watch Anna?"

She shakes her head, no. "NO!!!"

"Okay...then what do you want to watch?"

"Doggy."

"You want to watch the doggy?"

She nods her head. "Uh huh!"

I turn on Clifford.

She starts screaming and stomping around. "Noooo!!!"
"No? You said you wanted to watch the doggy!"
"ANNA!!!"
"Okay, Anna it is then!" Start to turn on Frozen.
Her screaming gets even more frantic and she throws herself around. "NOOOO!!!!!!!"

Does this happen at your house???
This is new for us...and this is every day for us. Ugh.

For those of you who haven't caught up with the times...I'm pregnant. I'm 38 weeks pregnant! I can't bend. I can barely tie my shoes. By about 2:30 every day, I can hardly walk, my hips hurt so bad. Let's just say I'm ready for this little nugget to make her arrival!

Now, let me tell you about my almost two-year-old, Hannah. Hannah is a runner. Yep. I can't take her anywhere. She runs from me everywhere we go. And she's fast. Really fast. She is the most stubborn, goofy, rebellious and feisty child I know. I know that these characteristics are going to be such a blessing at some point in time, but right now, when I have to chase her in every store and fight her from climbing in and out of the buggy...it's tiring...and annoying. Let's be real guys.

My toddler wants to be picked up every five minutes, carried to and from stores, to and from the car, to and from the rooms in our house...you name it. The baby in my belly is already as low as she's going to get without escaping, and all this carrying around a 35lber, on my already strained belly, isn't helping me rest much at this point in my pregnancy.

I've been told (and I've done much reading on the issue) that kids tend to regress when a baby is born into the family. They can regress in any area, pretty much. It could be potty training, sleep training, speech, independence...anything. Did any of your kids regress around this season of life?

Well, anyways...

Hannah is regressing in the sense that she wants to be the baby again. She wants an endless amount of skin-to-skin mommy cuddles. She wants to drink out of baby bottles and is starting to recall that mommy used to supply her milk. Let's just say...things can get a little awkward every now and then.

Some people will tell you that this happens when a baby is on the way, but she seems to "know" or "sense" that change is about to happen and she's gotten clingy, shy and extra needy. I have literally had to drag her into church on more than one occasion, with her holding onto my leg for dear life.

She hates going anywhere and everywhere. Either I have to drag her to the car kicking and screaming, or I have to carry her kicking and screaming. Either way, it's no fun. It's exhausting and leaves me sore afterwards. 

So as a result, we've been going nowhere. 

On the bright side, I'm beginning to see that it's been best for us to just stay at home. I need the rest and Hannah needs more and more of my attention right now.

Here's the thing with being in "survival mode"...

It usually leads to the whole family being unsatisfied somehow. It gets hard to show affection and attention without it being forced. You know what I mean?

I have recently heard God telling me, "Slow down Stephanie. Slow down." I've heard it week after week, but I wasn't listening. I wasn't obeying him. Conviction.

So I've decided to finally listen to the wisdom God has been offering me, and I've slowed down. I've taken what I feel like is half of my normal routine and I've pushed it aside. It started with me saying that I wouldn't leave the house certain days of the week, to me actually not leaving the house certain days of the week. With it, I am realizing which activities I truly enjoy as an individual versus which activities I was doing simply because I wanted to entertain my daughter.

I have taken a step back and because of that...I rest more often. I spend more time with Hannah. I have more time for taking care of my home. I've been inspired to read more of the Word (simply because I have the time). It's amazing what happens when you quit trying to fill your life with stuff. 

This is such a random post, I know. So much of it is me venting about my daily struggles with Hannah and then part of it is me expressing what God is doing through it all. 

I encourage you mama, if you are in this "survival mode", to take a step back. Slow down. Quit leaving your home every day just because you're bored and irritated or just because you're at a loss of ways to entertain your little one. Even if all you can think to do is turn on Clifford and cuddle, then thank God for the few moments you get to hold your little one in your arms. Kiss her, play with her hair, read the Bible, pray over her, take a power nap, hold her hands, play with her cute little toes...be grateful.  

God does amazing and beautiful things when we listen and obey Him. Has He been telling you slow down, mama? 

I'm Not Going to Lie

I'm not going to lie...

I have been trying to write posts for weeks now but I keep getting stopped in my tracks. I start writing about motherhood or just my own personal struggles but then God just sets me straight and shows me what I should be thinking, doing or focusing on instead.

I have been pretty close to survival mode for the past few weeks. I've been exhausted, going to bed close to 8:30 every night.
I have been in such pain this pregnancy, because of Hannah's constant climbing and the fact that Charlie has been sooo low the entire time.
I can't focus. I don't have energy to get anything done. I am in too much pain to do half of what I normally do with Hannah.
I see how much needs to get done around the house every single day and it's exhausting just thinking about it, but I can't get it done.

I could write about this all day, every day. Seriously. However, it seems as if God doesn't really want me to focus on that. Sure, there are so many of you who might find encouragement knowing that someone else is struggling through the EXACT things you are. Let me just go ahead and tell you...you are NOT ALONE. Someone else is facing the same struggles and frustrations and temptations as you!

However, today God wants me to tell you this:

Don't focus on your struggles. Instead, focus on God's strengths and His blessings in your life.

Don't focus on chores that aren't complete. Instead, focus on the hearts and minds that are growing within your home. Instead, focus on your own health, spiritual, physical, emotional and mental.

Don't focus on all the things you AREN'T DOING.
Instead, focus on the things you ARE DOING...like loving on your children and your spouse.

Quit rushing to complete your never ending to-dos. Instead, slow down and breathe. Speak life into the hearts around you.

Don't focus on the fact that you've had a "slow" or "unproductive" day, but instead, thank God for the fact that you can have a "slow" or "unproductive" day.

It's time to put our focus on the beautiful opportunities and moments in our lives, instead of comparing our lives to the lives of others. 

It's time to speak the Word of God over ourselves, our families, and our homes, instead of listening to and repeating what others have to say about us.

Set your foot down. Declare a revival in your home. Declare a renewal of hearts within your home. Speak it...in the name of Jesus Christ!

WE ARE HIS!!!

Now let's live like it.

"I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God's power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in the heavenly realms."

Ephesians 1:19-20

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

Ephesians 2:10

"Therefore, I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God."

Ephesians 4:1

Daddy Power

Okay...I'm a stay-at-home mom. I'm all about mom power, because I think that moms do so much more than the world gives them credit for, but I do have to say...

DON'T FORGET THE DADS

Like I said, I am all for "mom power", but I haven't recently gotten tired of seeing so many pictures, videos and articles based solely for moms because I feel like we've forgotten about the dads.

First off, we praise and try to remind everyone in the world about the important work of stay-at-home moms (or moms in general), but what about stay-at-home dads? What about single dads?

What about the dads?

There are single dads out there, that do the work of many. That slave all day and come home to take care of their children for the rest of their 24 hours.
There are dads who want badly to be with their children every day but for some reason they can't.
There are dads who work their butts off, so that their families can have the best life possible. They come home at the end of a long day and love on their families, despite what they're been through that day.

Without hardworking fathers, stay-at-home moms wouldn't get the opportunity to do as much for their families and homes. THAT'S THE TRUTH!

Without my husband, I wouldn't be able to do all that I do. I would be stuck at a job that I, honestly, probably wouldn't enjoy. At least not as much as I enjoy being home with my little girl.

There are so many things that fathers go through that we don't hear about that often, if at all. I know that there are many things that my husband goes through at work, that he doesn't bring home. I am grateful that he doesn't always burden us with his work struggles, but at the same time...just think about all the hardships that they face that we don't know about!

Fathers are selfless men. They do what's best for their family, despite their own desires. They work hard at home and away from home. They deserve as much praise as moms. They deserve as much recognition as moms. 

So, to the fathers all over the world, thank you! Thank you for all that you do! Your hard labor in the home and away from home are not forgotten! You do so much for us so that we can live in peace and in safety! We admire you and we look up to you! You are so humble in all that you do and you never miss a beat! You provide a grand life for your family! You are PERFECT to us! THANK YOU!!!

To my husband, Chris: You are such a humble, hard-working man. You provide so many wonderful opportunities and experiences for us and you cherish seeing our joy. I love that about you! A lot of what you do goes unnoticed and without praise, but I pray daily that God will help me see all that you do, especially the behind-the-scenes stuff! You sacrifice so much for us! Without you, I would not get to be this stay-at-home mom for Hannah and our soon-to-be little one. I love my job as a mom and I am so grateful that you allow me to do this full-time! You are so good to me, to Hannah and to Charlie. All of your hard-work is such a blessing to us and it is not forgotten! You are amazing! I could never thank you enough!!!

Let's love on the dads in our lives today! Let's remember all the unseen and unspoken work that they do! If you have to write a list of all the things he does for you family, then do it. Praise him for all his efforts! He is a hard-working man, even if today he isn't reaching your standards! 

Tell me something great about the fathers in your life!!!

Living the Mundane Life

So, I have wanted to write about this for a while now, but it never felt complete and I never felt as if it ever made any sense, or if it was even beneficial in any way.

Is it ironic that as I started writing about my mundane life, I was also writing about how it's never the same and that there is always joy in the little moments? Haha! Can you tell I haven't been able to get my thoughts straight?

I scratched all of my old writings out, then started to write a list: So what makes my life mundane?

I noticed something in my list...

I'm never satisfied with the way things happen. (Okay, maybe not "never", but you get the picture.) What makes my life mundane is that I'm always wanting it to be something MORE.

MORE thrilling

MORE adventerous 

MORE influential

MORE extraordinary

MORE fill in the blank

I want it to be more meaningful (or at least, I want to feel like it is).
I want to feel as if I am making an impact...changing lives. 

(That sounds silly writing it out now.)

I guess that before I had Hannah, I always felt like the job of a mom was extraordinary. I mean, look at all the moms we look up to! They impacted our lives and changed our hearts in such a powerful way! We will always remember them! 

As a new mom, I have felt as if my job is mundane. I would never say worthless...but I also wouldn't say extraordinary or inspirational. Mundane would be a good word, I guess. I do the same things over and over again every single day. I struggle with motivation, selflessness, wisdom...you name it! 

But I forgot that it's in the mundane where God grows us the most. 

We learn self-discipline...in the mundane.

We learn selflessness...in the mundane.

We learn wisdom...in the mundane.

We learn real joy...in the mundane.

We learn patience...in the mundane.

We learn how to really obey God...in the mundane.

We learn how to really pursue God...in the mundane.

We learn how to be content...in the mundane.

A mom's job is extraordinary!!! We encourage hearts, teach minds, and change hearts every single day! 

I have failed to understand this, especially lately. I have failed to see that a mother's job---to encourage, teach and change hearts---happens in the mundane! 

Mama, please be encouraged! Your job is so very important! 

You inspire the lives of so many, 

simply because you strive so hard IN the mundane!
You find JOY in the mundane and HOPE in

 the mundane and MOTIVATION in the mundane! 

YOU INSPIRE little hearts every single day because of the love you show through the mundane!

Take a moment to think about the impact that your mom or mother-figure made on your life. She went through the same stuff you're going through! She hid in another room just so she wouldn't scream at you. She cried because she felt as if nothing she did mattered that day. She had trouble waking up some mornings and on occasion stuffed her head under a pillow wishing you would stop crying. She sat on the floor feeling defeated. 

...but she also taught you the values of life. She taught you about love and what it should look like. She encouraged you, inspired you, helped you, comforted you, listened to you, corrected you, guided you and made a huge impact on your heart.

Mama, you are doing exactly that in the lives of your children. Even though some days may feel boring, mundane, routine, or even frustrating,...know this...you are changing the lives of the little ones in your home! They may not see it anytime soon, but I guarantee you that one day...they will. Have hope!

I am speaking to myself when I say all this. 

Have hope. Be encouraged. Your job is more 

important than you could ever comprehend. It may seem dull now, 

but one day...I believe...you will see what God was doing all those "mundane" years. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isa. 55:9

Are you living the mundane life?

My 6 New Year Resolutions - An Update

We're coming to end of January 2015 and I have already seen how God has been helping me accomplish some of the things I have had a desire for this year. I thought I'd share, seeing as I wrote about my New Year Resolutions on here not too long ago...post here.

1. Reading the Bible everyday.

So far, this hasn't happened...BUT...I've been waking up faithfully around 6:20 every morning, not in my own doing, but my body keeps waking me up. I'll be awake for at least fifteen or twenty minutes before falling asleep again. Well, I was having a conversation with my mom the other day---I can't even remember what we were talking about, but it hit me---"Maybe God is giving me an opportunity to wake up early like he's been telling me to for months now!"

Chris and I are currently attending a Sunday school/Connections class at our church and this semester we are talking about Obedience to God---when we've obeyed, the results---when we didn't obey, and the results. This is something I can see that God is teaching me at home as well right now.

So back to my story...as soon as I realized that my body waking me up early, was really God, I decided to get up the next time he woke me up. May I remind you that every time I have tried to wake up early on my own, Hannah beats me to the punch.  This time, however, every time I have gotten up when God woke me up...Hannah slept in past eight!!! I have been able to read the Word, pray, even do a tiny bit of tidying up before she wakes up! God answers when his children are obedient---yes He does!

PROGRESS: God has been waking me up around 6:30am every day, and as soon as I realized it was HIM waking me up, I began to take those opportunities he was giving me and get up to read! As a result---Hannah has been sleeping in past 8:00 (she's been waking up at 6:30) and I have been able to read his Word faithfully like he has been asking me to!


2. Try harder on my appearance.

Okay, so, I was definitely working on it, but then exhaustion hit! This mama has 7.5 weeks left before baby #2 arrives---ACK!!! I was curling my hair daily, pinning it differently each day or just leaving it all fluffy! I'm still trying to make sure that I am clean, wearing outfits that actually go together (yea, I don't normally care too much about that), and cute shoes, but I haven't gotten too far into this...but hey, I've got all year!

PROGRESS: I made progress for a little bit, but then baby #2 decided she'd rather I sleep! Haha! Preggo fatigue...woohoo!


3. Showing Chris love using his love language. 

I have definitely been working on this. It's always a learning process. I'm learning how to express my gratitude, but now I need to really work on my variety of compliments and creativity. I can write him notes all day, but I also need to save some to actually speak TO HIM. 

PROGRESS: Getting better, now I just need to work on variety! 


4. Spend more one-on-one time with Chris. 

This has definitely gotten better, at least I think it has. We haven't been out on a date in a while, but we've been reading the Word together every night after Hannah goes to bed and we've been talking for a looong time once sitting down together. I have seriously enjoyed this! Chris has been working late for a while now, but the past couple of days he has gotten home earlier---or rather, on time. We've had so much more time with each other because of this. 

PROGRESS: We've definitely had more one-on-one time these past couple of weeks and it has been great! I hope it continues!



5. Reach target weight after baby #2 arrives.

Well, baby #2 is not here yet, so...no progress yet! In fact, my appetite has finally kicked in and I'm pretty sure I am going to start picking up the weight now! Ack!

PROGRESS: None. No baby yet! :)



6. Know where every penny in our budget goes.

Okay, now THIS has gotten better! We've figured out a new way to budget each paycheck in order to build our savings and knock out our little bit of debt (another goal for this year). Because we have a new system, we know where every penny goes! It's so great! Progress!

PROGRESS: We have a new budgeting system now which is working for us and yep...we're making progress! Yay!!!



So how about you? How are you doing on your New Year Resolutions and 2015 goals?

FIVE Simple Tips for SAVING MONEY on GAS

I've mentioned before, that Chris and I are working to build our savings, knock out some debt and just in general, keep track of our money. One way to save money is to use less on gas. There are many ways to do this without cutting back too much on your driving. I've done tons of research over the years on this topic and have practiced these rules often.

I can guarantee you that you will SAVE money on gas 
if you follow these rules! 

I am hoping to start abiding by these once again to save a little on gas, seeing as I'm out and about almost every day.

1. Don't drive every day. Pick one or two days that you don't drive if you don't have to. Make one trip, instead of five. Plan your errands in advance and decide on the best time and route.

2. Coast. Do this whenever you can! It's easiest when you are going downhill or come to a stop light/sign. ...but they are plenty of opportunities that you can coast a good bit down a road. Try it out when there's not really anyone behind you. Quit pressing the gas when you don't have to! 

3. Ease up on the lead foot. Really, quit hitting the gas pedal. Play the granny role when you finally get a green light. It takes getting used to, especially if you have a heavy foot (and most of us do), but it's worth it. This tip alone will make your gas last so much longer! I actually try to stay under and right at 2,000 RPGs and this alone will make your gas go so much farther!

4. Keep up with your regular oil changes and such. I am so guilty of this one! I can't change my own oil and I definitely don't pay to get it done, so I guess that's why I forget. The men in my life have to remind me of this and often, it's been overdue for a change!

5. Use store credit. We usually shop at Aldi's for groceries, but when we need items not found at Aldi's or when we use WIC, we shop Kroger. Using our Kroger Plus card saves us a little bit on gas each time we use it. Every little bit helps!


So, are you going to try these out? If you do, tell me how they work for you!

I have found that the first four tips make my gas go so much farther!. Store credit also helps us save a few dollars here and there and every little bit helps! 

Tuesday Tunes // Nothing I Hold On To/Climb

"I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the maker of heaven."

This is exactly what I have needed to hear throughout these past couple of weeks. Through the chaos, confusion, frustration and exhaustion...I will lean not on my own understanding, for my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven!