Meet Charlotte Iva!
I hit 38 weeks and I felt as if she could arrive any day the way my BH were coming. But nope.
That week I woke to what I thought was my water breaking. So, eagerly I convinced the hubby that we needed to go get checked out. It's easier to convince your spouse when you're GBS positive, fyi. We were at the hospital all day with one result: "Everything looks great! You can go home." The nurse seemed convinced that I would have her before my next appointment that was five days away. But nope.
My 39 week appointment came along and I was seen by a different doctor at the office, one who hadn't seen me yet. He was nice but a fast talker. It was one of those situations where your doctor talks so fast that before you know it, you've agreed to something you haven't even given a wink of a thought to. He had convinced me to let him induce me that Wednesday. I honestly felt a little tricked into this because he never ever phrased it as if I was going to be induced, but he implied that it would happen and that I would have her on that very day. He also didn't give me a huge reason for the induction, other than to get antibiotics in me before my waters break. I understood the importance, but it didn't seem necessary. I asked him and he agreed that it wasn't necessary, but rather preference.
Chris and I talked about it. I really wasn't sure what to do. I wanted her to come on her own but the timing of induction just seemed too good to be true. Chris supported me in whatever I decided but reminded me of my ultimate desire: to have a natural birth. One reason my husband is amazing: He reminds me of my ultimate desires in life. In this case, he reminded me how I've always wanted to do a natural birth. He was right. I really wanted a natural birth. So I quickly decided against and cancelled the induction.
The following week at my appointment, we saw the same doctor. This time Chris was with me and I'm glad. That doctor upset me. He just didn't seem to listen. I know that all doctors have to inform their patients of risks and such things, but I was only 40 weeks and with no complications or concerns. He gave us a long speech of the risks of going past due (starting to hate that phrase) and then pretty much just ended it there. I felt like I had to force my opinion in there. Maybe it was just me. It probably was.
Let me back up a little. I was told by the midwife at the office that I didn't need any exams, because the baby would come in her own timing, no matter how many times they tell me how far dilated I am. She told me I could turn them down. Well, I guess I'm not super quick on my feet, but I felt like the nurses and doctors just made decisions for me sometimes before I was able to think. Anyways...at this appointment the nurse told me to get undressed because I needed an exam so close to my due date. I didn't know why, but went along with it. In retrospect, I should have gone ahead and told them that I didn't want any exams for a little while.
This particular office has several doctors, the ones that usually saw me always asked me if I wanted the exam, but this doctor did not. He just assumed it's what I wanted, so he went ahead and performed the exam. That kind of irked me. During the exam he did the membrane sweep...then told me what he did. This irked me too. I'm not against getting a membrane sweep, but I definitely don't like it when doctors and nurses do things without my permission. It doesn't help that I have never been too comfortable with men I don't know.
This sweep started my body on an entirely new set of symptoms and "signs". That night I could have sworn that I was going to have the baby. My contractions were hard, long and consistent. They were each around 90 seconds long and came every 3.5 minutes. They were like clockwork, for almost five hours. They were also bearable, so I didn't call in. I just went to bed, but by the morning they had stopped.
That entire week my body went through so much. My contractions came more often and were more intense. I experienced so many more "signs" of impending labor, to the point I was terrified that I'd be one of those woman who had no idea she was in labor! There are a few women who could tell you how truly paranoid and stressed out I was. My husband could definitely tell you!
For all you preggos in your last month, I'll share the details in simple form. For those with a weak stomach or who just don't want to hear this, skip over this little list:
- I lost my plug over the week. No show.
- I had hard contractions at random, mostly starting after lunch. I had one day where they started in the morning. That was weird.
- I got a killer sinus infection that hurt like death. It lasted for days.
- I felt myself dilating, literally. It was the weirdest sensation.
- I was nauseated every night.
- I felt like I had a fever every night, but never had a temperature.
- For a few days I felt like I was about to start my period. The pain, the cramps, the constant need to go to the bathroom, but nothing. No show, no nothing.
- I had energy for a few days, and then for a couple of days I felt like sleeping all day long.
I was so stressed out. Everyone was calling and texting us every single day to ask if the baby was here yet. People were constantly telling us when they were getting off and telling us when they thought the baby should come. It was getting overwhelming.
I had no idea what to expect or if I'd even know when I was laboring. I was kind of freaking out. I'm telling you...I officially hate the phrase..."you'll just know". Even if it's true, don't keep telling this to a pregnant woman! Because in the moment, it's scary and you really, truly, and honestly believe that you'll never know!
I finally realized how stressed I had been and that I really just needed to take it all to God. I started praying all day, every day. I asked God for peace and tried to trust that He would give me the wisdom to know when I was in labor, or that He would just make it very very clear. I never went through any of this with my first pregnancy and the fact that I had all these "signs" and nothing to show for it, terrified me. I felt clueless and paranoid. It didn't help that I felt pressure from everyone with all the calls, texts, messages, and from everyone at the obgyn's office that kept saying things like "they haven't induced you yet?" (Don't tell pregnant women that either.)
So I gave it to God the best I knew how.
That weekend I started to put all my focus into praying and praising God (as I should be doing anyways). I felt Him welcome me in as I took my concerns to Him. On Sunday we stayed home from church. (Sometimes you just need family time.) We spent the day together in the beautiful weather and I spent the day praising and praying to God. I kept telling God what I longed for: a natural birth...and possibly her arrival within 48 hours. My sweet husband spent the night helping me relax. I felt like I had built up so much tension about this birth, and so I asked that he rub my back and feet, etc, to help me loosen up. We spent the night listening to praise music, singing, and praying. Truly giving it to God.
I started having contractions later that night, but they didn't stick. I was feeling discouraged.
THE BIG DAY
The following morning I had my 41 week check up. I had a small talk with God before we left for my appointment. I told Him that I had full faith in His timing for my little girl's arrival, but that He only had 17 hours left in the day. She needed to be here soon!
Fair warning: This is where it starts to get a little TMI, so avert your eyes if you don't care to read about this!
I asked to specifically see the midwife this time. I had seen her many many times before and she was always so easy to talk to. She was calm, understanding and encouraging of natural labor and letting the baby come at his/her own time. We talked about all my concerns and she did the exam. I hadn't progressed any. Still at 3 cm, which is what I was the previous week. That was upsetting, but the midwife was so encouraging. I believe she said exactly what God wanted her to tell me. She gave me hope and took away so much of my fear and anxiety. She didn't push for an induction, in fact, she left an open door for me and simply stated she wouldn't even bring it up until I was 42 weeks! I asked her to perform the membrane sweep just to see if it would help at all. She reminded me that the baby comes when SHE wants to, no matter what we try. GOOD REMINDER for those of you in the last few weeks of your pregnancy!
She did the sweep and drew some blood --- good sign. Chris and I left feeling hopeful of letting our baby girl make her way in her own time. So we waited.
I was straight exhausted that day and for the past few days I had been feeling feverish (even though I never had a temperature). I rested all day while Hannah and Chris spent time with his family. The sickness feeling never went away. I just felt more and more ill as the day progressed. I was exhausted and miserable.
After lunch I started having these mild menstrual cramps that lasted throughout the day, but I tried not to think anything of it. I had a sweep the week before and it did the same thing but with no results. They got a little more intense as the day went on, but still, I tried not to think anything of it.
THE START OF LABOR
It was a slow day for me, but I eventually went to bed at about 11:00 pm Monday night. I was feeling sick with slight cramping. I told God that I still wanted her here by tonight. I didn't know how He was going to do it, but He had an hour! He had until midnight! So I fell asleep and woke up to a POP at about 11:20 pm! (Can you say that God made perfect timing on that one? Yep!) But it didn't end there! This POP started the most painful and intense contractions! No warning! No gradual pain increase! I was there at the peak the second I felt that pop...and OH MY GOSH...it was awful!
I had to use the bathroom, so the second the contraction was over (which felt like 2 minutes!) I got up and walked to the bathroom. I felt an ooze. People say they feel a gush. Well I felt an ooze. I got to the bathroom and as soon as I sat on the toilet I had another contraction, just as intense, if not more. I texted my husband who was in the other room and told him to "come now". He immediately showed up. I guess it didn't really hit him though that I was in severe pain, 'cause he was just sitting around chatting with me as if my pain were tolerable at the moment. Oh heck no!
Another contraction came along and I called his name, but he still sat there (no husband bashing here, this is just literally what happened) so I snapped at him. "Chris." (No answer) "Chris." "Huh?" "GET YOUR FREAKIN' --- OVER HERE!!! NOW!!!!!!!"
Husbands, if your normally modest and conservative wife starts cussing, this is a sure sign she's in labor. Just sayin'.
I sat for a long time in that bathroom having contractions. I told Chris to contact Rachel, my best friend, and tell her to go ahead and come on over. I was going to be calling the hospital soon. Our plan was that she would come stay with Hannah if we ever had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night.
AT THE HOSPITAL
About an hour later we left for the hospital. I think God blessed me with just enough strength to get through that car ride. I'm surprised I wasn't as miserable as I assumed I was going to be. I had a contraction as soon as we pulled in and as soon as it ended, I hopped out and ran into the hospital. Now, when I say "ran", I mean I walked very very slowly as quickly as I possibly could.
We got there close to 1 a.m. and since it was after hours we had to ring the bell. Yep, ring the bell. I was bouncing around trying to get through contractions as we made our way upstairs. They wanted me to sit and sign a couple of papers. Yea, right!
In triage the contractions were getting more intense. There were only two nurses working (I think) and so it was kind of slow. The wait was miserable. They expected me to put on a gown and sit down and WAIT??? Ughhhh. The nurses examined me and found me to be only 4cm. The midwife told me earlier that day that I was at 3cm, but that some people would say 4cm. So when I heard that I was only 4cm, I assumed I had made no progress with all these contractions. LAME.
It took them a minute...or thirty...but eventually they declared my water broken and admitted me into a room. Chris wanted to push me in the wheelchair, but couldn't figure out how to work it and almost put me in a wheely position. I snapped at him. "Don't you EVER do that again!!!" So he let the nurse push, haha! Once in the room, my contractions immediately intensified. I told them I wanted to stand and that sitting was the worst position ever. Well, I had to sit...and wait...and wait. They had to get me all hooked up, put the IV in, strap me up to the monitors, get the antibiotics going...you get the picture. Finally, after what seemed like forever, I could stand up. It helped some, but only for a little while.
Chris would have to put pressure on my hips to help me get through each contraction. My husband worked just as hard as I did for a while there! Eventually that didn't help anymore and it actually made it worse. I asked for pain medication. They gave me some, but I don't think it helped at all.
I distinctly remember two (or maybe three) spikes in contractions. As in, they spiked to a whole new level of pain and intensity and did not return to their previous level of intensity. I don't know if that makes sense or if any of you went through a labor that was similar, but geez! It was awful! By the time I was "used to" the level of pain of my contractions, there would be a minute pause and then my next contraction would be ten times worse. Later on, Chris told me how he could see the spikes on the monitor, how they would be one level of intensity and then shoot up.
I'm not going to lie guys, I was a screamer. I screamed. A lot. I blame it on the fact that I never knew when I was about to start contracting. There was no warning sign, no "wave" over my belly...every contraction started at the peak. It was horrible. It was hell.
I would scream and the nurses would run in and tell me to calm down. I kept yelling back at them "I'm trying! Trust me! I'm trying!" The moment I could catch my breath I was trying to breath. It's so hard to breathe slowly like they tell you to. I'm just sayin'. I kid you not, I was imagining beaches and palm trees!
I told my husband that I was considering an epidural. The last time they had checked me I was only 5cm. ONLY 5CM!!! How slowly could this child come out?! Seriously now. I was experiencing what felt like hell every single minute and I was only at 5cm?!! Crying over here. They put off answering me for a while. They knew I wanted a natural birth. I did hear them mention something about two other people being ahead of me for the epidural. So, I kept waiting to hear if I would get to have the epidural. I was in so much pain.
Chris left the room to grab a power drink from a friend who was so kind to bring it to him at three in the morning. While he was gone (and for only a minute or two), I was alone in the room. No nurses. No Chris. Just me. I was singing and praying and talking to Charlie to keep myself calm. There was a minute pause. Remember that minute pause I mentioned earlier? Yea, I should have seen it coming.
There was a minute pause and I had the worst contraction I have ever experienced, and they just kept coming. It terrified me. I'm not going to lie when I say that it felt like an out-of-body experience. I just started screaming and almost running in place on the bed. My nurse ran in a second later, rushing, checking my monitor, asking me if I felt anything different happening down there. I didn't know. I think there were a couple of times that I felt like pushing. I might have actually pushed, but I wasn't sure what was going on. I just knew that it hurt beyond belief and I still wanted that epidural!
The nurse examined me quickly (it's amazing how you don't remember getting examined during all the chaos) and said that I was at 8cm. Holy moly! Wasn't I just 5cm less than an hour ago??? I don't think it hit me how close I was to having this baby. All I knew was that I probably wouldn't be getting an epidural by now. Ugh.
By this point, Chris came running back into the room. I saw seven nurses run in. Is this for the epidural? Yay! --- Delusional much? I saw him watch the nurses rush to pull their things together, and Chris did the same, taking off his nice button down, leaving his undershirt on. I was in my own little world...screaming...but I could tell by the look on his face, it was game time. I just didn't know it yet.
DELIVERY
I don't remember much around this point in time. I feel like I blacked out or fell asleep or something, but I don't remember what happened in those few minutes. All I know is that when I opened my eyes, the nurses and my obgyn were in front of me telling me to put my legs up.
Yea, I started freaking out. Whaaaaaat? I have to push? I don't want to push! It's going to hurt! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I don't want to push!
Yea...that didn't last long. I'm pretty sure I was pushing before they told me to push.
One nurse kept telling me to calm down and another nurse kept telling me to open my eyes. This one beautiful nurse was holding my hand telling me to open my eyes and to look at her. We shared many a glance during my labor. She kept telling me to breathe. She had this very peaceful and cheerful feel about her. I don't know if it was just the pain I was in or if she is just one joyful lady, but I liked her. She was awesome and I told her so. In the middle I pushing, in a calm moment of breathing, staring into this nurse's eyes (haha!) I said "I like you". Yep. I'm that woman. They just laughed. Glad I could brighten their moment. Haha!
Pushing sucked at first. I almost blacked out. I think I actually did for a split second. I told them that I was going to throw up, but I never did. The obgyn kept telling me to look and see what was happening. I kept telling them that I couldn't see anything, but they insisted that I could. I kept telling them that I couldn't. After the third or fourth time of them telling me I could in fact see, I saw my baby girl's head. That was good enough for me. I gave one final push and I felt her curvy little body leave my body. It was the weirdest thing I have ever felt, and yet it was so awesome! They told me later that I had only pushed for ten minutes!
Charlotte (Charlie) Iva made her arrival at 4:15 a.m.! Less than four hours at the hospital and my baby girl was born! I had no idea that it was going to be that fast!
The very second she was out of me, I felt normal. No pain. No crazy preggo hormones. I felt like me again.
They brought her to my chest immediately and dried her off. She was (is) beautiful. So so beautiful! Her skin was already so soft, unlike Hannah's, who was still wrinkly and a little dry at her birth (39 weeks). She cried immediately and I just laid there kissing her and talking to her. My little Charlie bug!
POSTPARTUM
The nurses were surprised with how quickly I bounced back. They never got a chance to see how calm and easy going I am on a normal basis. My nurse at one point just said "wow, you're so calm!" I kept thanking them for dealing with my craziness and for being so sweet and helpful. I was seriously out of my right mind during labor.
I bounced back rather quickly. It gets tiring having to just sit there in the hospital bed, so it was nice being able to stand up and stretch every few minutes without needing assistance. I was able to get up and take care of Charlie without having to wake Chris or call for a nurse. My postpartum nurse told me that I was her favorite patient because I never asked for anything, haha!
All in all, it was an amazing experience. God heard my plea for a natural birth and for her to arrive quickly into our lives. She came in HIS time and I am so grateful that we waited.
CHARLIE
Charlie is a bright-eyed little baby. She always looks so cheerful and happy. She sleeps throughout the entire night and has solid naps throughout the day...and she's only six days old! She'll stay awake for an hour at a time and just listen to you talk. She loves being held and loves getting to lay down and wiggle. She loves her big sister and her big sister loves her.
We are so blessed to have this sweet and beautiful addition to our family! I am so excited to watch her grow and I am excited to see how she and Hannah grow together! I am trying to remember how quickly time flies and to cherish the moments where I'm tied to the couch nursing or to the rocking chair trying to get my toddler to go to sleep at night.
My husband and I feel even closer as we face this new season in life. I couldn't ask for a better man! He has been so good to me throughout my pregnancy, despite my craziness. He is such a great husband and a wonderful daddy to my little girls! I am so so blessed!
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IN RETROSPECT
I can definitely say that with a natural birth, you bounce back so much faster. With Hannah and an epidural, it took forever for me to get back on my feet, go to the bathroom, and do just simple stuff. It's not only because you're body is slowly gaining feeling again, but the medicine just messes with your mind and the rest of your body, too. Without it, I was able to get up right away and use the bathroom, walk around my postpartum room without help, and get back to normal.
One thing I noticed, was that the nurses weren't prepared to have to calm someone down. There was only one nurse who knew how to get me to breathe slowly. In retrospect, I can see why a midwife and doula are so valuable for natural labor. Although every labor is different, they have lots of experience with talking people through their pain. I realize now, that if I had someone like that nurse beside me the ENTIRE time and not just at the very end, I probably wouldn't have freaked out as much or screamed as much.
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