{Fair warning: This post might be completely confusing and some of it might just sound like I'm rambling, but these are my thoughts that I believe I needed to share today, so bare with me!}
Today is just one of those days that I am reminded that I am HUMAN. For reals now.
I woke up so frustrated this morning. Hannah cried half the night and stayed in bed with us for half the night, but then she kept rolling straight off the bed, or scooting off the bed. I would wake up just in time to catch her (our mattress is on the ground, but still), which in turn would wake her up for a good few minutes and she would fuss and fuss until she could fall asleep again. She slept holding my mouth with her hands. Yep. I guess she wanted to make sure I was there...all...night...long. I felt like I hadn't slept AT ALL and so Chris put her back into her crib at like 4:00 in the morning. Plenty of other stuff happened in the middle of the night that frustrated the mess out of me, but there's no need to talk about it. It's done and over.
I woke up exhausted and frustrated still. Hannah was giddy of course. Chris let me sleep in a little, until about 8:15. Yay! Sleeping past 8:00 is A W E S O M E!!!
You all saw my post about my hubby this weekend, right??? (If you didn't, it's right here and you should check it out! ---> To My Husband on His Birthday) Well, he's awesome, and he cheered me up very quickly this morning with all his laughing and with all his compliments. I was mumbling under my breath half the morning and he would just giggle and say I was cute. Some days that would just make me want to hurt him even more, but this morning his humor was just what I needed to get myself back in the game. He made me laugh all morning and even all through church. GASP!!! Yes, I giggle with my husband sometimes during church! THAT'S OKAY and quite sweet if I do say so myself!
One example of his humor this morning: We were sitting in the service, during the meet-and-greet portion, right before the actual message started and I was telling him how tired I was. I told him I could fall asleep right there. His response: "God says to come to Him and He will give you rest! Rest! If you can't rest here, then where can you rest?!!" I just couldn't help but laugh with all this talk of falling asleep in church. I DIDN'T fall asleep by the way. The message about our faithful and resurrected Lord was so encouraging today! (I might have to share some of the message later this week!)
I wanted to share all of this because well, I'm human. ...but I'm a human who really really wants to keep pursuing God and reading His Word and growing in His knowledge, understanding and Truth.
We had a surprise birthday party for my husband last night and I was able to talk with a lot of people we haven't seen in a while. It was so nice.
I got to talking to a good friend of ours. I had to sit down because this pregnancy fatigue started to hit me but we continued on our conversation anyways. He was asking me what I've been up to lately (after he so eagerly shared what God has been doing in his life recently) and my reply: "not much." He wouldn't settle for that answer and gently pushed me to share more.
I found myself REMEMBERING all the convictions God has been laying on my heart and all the encouragement Christ has been blessing me with these days.
This is what I shared with him last night and it's what I want to share with you today.
I am learning that to pursue God is a choice.
Being a married woman...a pregnant married woman with a highly active toddler, it's very difficult to see the opportunities to pursue God. Even when I do see them, stuff happens and it makes it harder to get into His presence.
I already feel like I'm rambling. Sorry if you feel that way, too. Do I make sense???
I explained to him how it seems easier to pursue God when there's a routine. It seems easier to read His Word whenever Hannah and I have a routine going. But we hardly ever have a clear routine! We will finally have like two good days in a row and I will get pumped up because I can see where I can put God in (sounds so bad saying it like that) and then the next day, our "routine" is screwed up and it's never the same again.
I struggle with seeing the open spots in my day where I can just sit and read God's Word.
I am constantly bombarded with the idea that Hannah and Chris need to come first.
That my HOME needs to come first.
But that is such a lie!!!
That my HOME needs to come first.
But that is such a lie!!!
I need to CHOOSE God.
I need to CHOOSE to sit down and really READ.
I need to CHOOSE to sit down and really READ.
I do believe I've written a little about it before, my convictions that is, but I honestly can't remember what post it's in. I'll update this post as soon as I find it! Anyways...
God has been convicting me more and more lately that I need to get up earlier to be with Him. Even if it's only 30 minutes earlier than normal. I need to choose to get up and spend time with Him before my day really gets going. To read the Scriptures. To pray. To think. I NEED that time with Him. I need to CHOOSE that time with Him.
I have nothing else to say on the matter. It's pretty clear that God is telling me to do just that.
Wake up early to read His Word.
I was just reminded last night that it's a CHOICE. I am never going to get closer to God, experience His glory, His peace, His love or His joy if I do not choose to spend time with Him.
It can be so stinkin' difficult sometimes to find that time. I believe it's there, I really do. I just get caught up in the moment of everyday chaos just like everyone else in the world does. I forget to even LOOK for that opening.
It's time we CHOOSE to pursue God and His Word. I mean we DO want it, don't we???
We've seen His glory! We've seen His hands at work in the lives around us and in our own lives and it is indescribable! So why are we holding back?
We've seen His glory! We've seen His hands at work in the lives around us and in our own lives and it is indescribable! So why are we holding back?
Why are wasting our time with mundane things instead of fully putting our time and effort into knowing and getting closer to our Resurrected Father??? I have no idea. We're crazy. We're just straight crazy!
GO AFTER GOD!!! TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE AND YOUR HEART AND YOUR MIND!!!
Baby Charlotte totally agrees. As soon as I started to write about the glory of God, she began running in my belly! I claim it! She KNOWS! God is magnificent!!!
In addition to being reminded of my convictions, I was also reminded of how easy it used to be to ask my friends about God and about what God was doing in their lives. I used to ask people this question all the time: "What's God been up to?"
I have not asked this question in such a long time. It's been too long really. It's time we start asking each other this question again.
Life gets so busy that we really need to help remind each other that God is ever present and that He is working in us. We need to draw it out of each other. What is God doing in YOUR LIFE right now???
I thought my answer was "not much," but I was wrong. My answer should have been
"He's drawing me in again."
"He's drawing me in again."
Why have we stopped bringing God's wonder into our conversations? Why is it all of the sudden focused on the bad? Why have we stopped putting emphasis on the work and the glory of Christ in our lives?
I think it's time we step our game, guys. I think it's time we quit making up excuses about being tired or busy and just CHOOSE to pursue God! JUST DO IT!!! Pursue God!!! I'm sure He's either already given you the time during your day to read His Word or He's given you the conviction about where you should clear out your schedule. Am I right?
So...
What is God doing YOUR LIFE?
Now is the time for me to close my laptop and follow through with what I've just said to myself and to you. I'm going to go read the Bible now while my baby girl is sleeping. See you guys later!
May God's never ending peace and joy flood your way!
{Is it ironic that Hannah JUST woke up from her nap as I was posting this?
Hah! Oh Lord, you have a sense of humor!}
May God's never ending peace and joy flood your way!
{Is it ironic that Hannah JUST woke up from her nap as I was posting this?
Hah! Oh Lord, you have a sense of humor!}
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