When Anger Gets the Best of You

Let's get personal!
It seems as if everything I have on my mind lately is simply that...personal. 
My deepest thoughts, concerns and struggles. Not that that's a bad thing, but it definitely makes it hard to share it with people, especially over the world wide web!

But hey! If I can share these thoughts with close friends and strangers that I meet while on a coffee date, then I guess I can share it with more than just the one or two!

Getting angry is a really easy trap to fall into. It really is. Let's be real.
How often do YOU get angry? Once a month? Once a week? Once a day? 
I don't know about you, but I'm raising my hand!
...and if you aren't raising yours, you're lying!

Anger is seriously...
a dangerous trap
that we fall into
weekly, if not, daily.

It can cause us to do things that we wouldn't "normally" do...
Like throwing a hair brush or kicking a hole in the wall! 
Thinking about my middle school and high school days right there! Oops. Sorry mom. Sorry dad.

As I started writing this post, the Lord re-directed my thoughts. I was going to share how anger can and does affect the people in your life and how you can choose to overcome that anger. I still might talk a little bit about it at some point. However, I think God has a different message for me tonight.

"The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy."
Psalms 145:8

I was researching Scripture about anger and I came across this precious piece of the Word. I was dumb-founded. I literally had nothing to say about this. All I thought was, okay wow, so I have A LOT to work on if I am to ever become like Christ! A lot!

The LORD is slow to anger. As in He is patient and humble. I'm pretty sure He 
doesn't lash out just 'cause

He is of great mercy. I think this hit me the most. Mercy. Do I show mercy? Have I shown mercy? Hm...I'm really not sure I want to answer that. Nooo...[slowly backing away now]

He is of GREAT MERCY!!!

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Some of the greatest times I have had reading the Word of God is when I sit down and define every single word until I can explain that one verse like nobody's business! So with that said...

Let's define mercy! Let's dumb it down to toddler level! 
Bear with me as this might just be one of the most boring posts I will ever write! ;) 
Just kidding, hopefully not!

According to, mercy means...
1. compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or 
 other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence:
  2. the disposition to be compassionate or forbearing: 
3. the discretionary power of a judge to pardon someone or to mitigate punishment,  
especially to send to prison rather than invoke the death penalty.
4. an act of kindness, compassion, or favor:  
5.  something that gives evidence of divine favor; blessing:

Ooh! I was pretty sure I understood the word mercy until I read out the definition. Am I alone in this? What in the world does all of this really mean??? Did anyone catch that last one? 
"Something that gives evidence of divine favor; blessing." 
Wow! Conviction.

I would stop here and leave it at that, but honestly, I need to dumb it down a little more. Or maybe a lot more! I have highlighted some words to define so I can further simplify the word mercy, but here we have the "short" version. If you want to see what words I researched and if you're a word dork like me, I've listed everything at the very end of the post! Otherwise, let's just continue on to the "short" version!
According to Stephanie's hours spent researching definitions and 
those definitions' definitions, mercy means...
1. Understanding another person's suffering and kindly abstaining from all the bad things you want to say and do, even though that person is really irritating, annoying and possibly trying to make you more upset by the minute! Understanding the hardships that they go through and genuinely having the desire to alleviate them of their pain and suffering. Having a real desire to do good to them.
2. Naturally showing sympathy and withholding your own judgement 
and punishment towards a person.
3. You might be angry and you might have a right to be angry, but you choose to forgive them and release them of their penalty or release them of what they owe you. You might be angry, but you choose to lessen your wrath or harshness towards them.
4. Choosing to show acts of kindness rather than act with justice.
5. Your acts should show your devotion to God, making others as better than yourself.

Hm. Does anyone else just feel like they need to be soaking this in??? I honestly feel like I just need to sit in this for a while. Seriously. 
"Having a real desire to do good to them." 
"Naturally showing sympathy." 
"Making others as better than yourself." 
"Your acts should show your devotion to God."  

I'll be honest. I've gotten into some serious fights over the years with my hubby. My sweet sweet hubby. We're not the only ones! Don't look at me with those judgmental eyes! :) Every single one of our fights, no matter the cause, ended up being just straight embarrassing. We did so much stupid stuff and for what reason??? Selfishness most likely. I was humiliated in so many instances. He was humiliated in so many instances. It was a mess! A real big huge stinky awful mess!

We all get into fights with those we love (as ironic as that is). It's human nature to be selfish. It's in our flesh.
I could honestly go on and on about this for hours, but to sum it up...

How did we resolve it? How did we ever make up? I guarantee you that there were 
instances where we second guessed ourselves and thought of how much easier it would be if we weren't together anymore! How did we recover? Heal? Forgive? Love again?

One of us chose to pursue sympathy and understanding. 
One of us chose to forgive and forget. 
One of us chose to show acts of kindness. 
One of us chose to humble ourselves and show honor to the other person. 
One of us chose to show our devotion to God. 
One of us chose to relieve the other person from their pain and suffering. 
One of us chose to lessen the intensity and harshness. 
One of us chose to act out of kindness rather than in judgement.  

One of us showed great mercy. 
...and oh. my. gosh.
Mercy. It is a beautiful thing!

How wonderful it is to receive mercy! Especially when you've been so stupid, foolish, crazy; whatever you'd call yourself in those moments! We were humbled and made vulnerable once again when we showed each other mercy, when we purposefully forgave and started to show kindness once again. 

To show mercy is to be selfless. Therefore, let's slow down a bit and have compassion on each other. This goes for both the married folk and unmarried folk alike! Be understanding. Be kind. 
Act in such a way the people see your devotion to God!

Our marriage isn't perfect, but I can honestly say that God has changed us and renewed us! He is continuously working on us with a specific purpose in mind! I love my husband ten times more today than I did the day I married him and it's all because of God's work within us! Through the good times and the bad, He has taught us so much more about ourselves and each other. We have grown in our understanding of each other and grown in our wisdom of Christ. Two very essential things in marriage. 

May I encourage you, especially if you're in a fight right now, to humble yourself and serve him or her. Gift your loved one (or enemy) with the release from their penalty. Relieve them of their stress or suffering. Show kindness to them. Choose to lessen the harshness of your voice. Choose to lessen the intensity of your frustration. I am speaking to myself when I say this, but choose to forgive and forget. Choose sympathy and understanding. Choose to show them great mercy!

Proverbs 14:29 | "He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalts folly."

Proverbs 29:11 | "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."

Proverbs 19:11 | "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

Psalm 37:8-9 | "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil.  For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land."

Colossians 3:8 | "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips."

James 1:20 | "For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."

Galations 5:22-25 | "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with it's passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."

May God bless you with wisdom and insight into His marvelous Word and may He teach you the ways of becoming a peace-maker!

Photo by Strasburger Photography


Here are the words I want to define further:
I am sharing this entire process with you because I want you to be able to see for yourself where I got to where I'm going!
(Bear with me here. If you want to skip this all the way to the part where I re-write out the 
definition of mercy, be my guest! I won't be offended!)
Compassion|A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
Sympathy|The harmony of agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.
Forbear|To refrain or abstain from. To keep back; withhold.
Offender|Someone who irritates, annoys or angers; causes resentful displeasure in.
Enemy|A person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent.An armed foe; an opposing military force.
Pity|Sympathetic or kindly sorrow evoked by the suffering, distress, or misfortune of another, often leading one to give relief or aid or to show mercy.
Benevolence|Desire to do good to others; goodwill; charitableness. An act of kindness; a charitable gift.
Disposition|Natural mental or emotional outlook or mood; characteristic attitude. State of mind regarding something.
Discretion|The power or right to decide or act according to one's own judgement or choice.
Power|The capability of doing or accomplishing something.
Pardon|Kind indulgence, as in forgiveness of an offense or discourtesy or in tolerance of a distraction or inconvenience. A release from the penalty of an offense.
Mitigate|To lessen in force or intensity, as wrath, grief, harshness, or pain. To make less severe.
Favor|Something done or granted out of goodwill, rather than from justice or for remuneration; a kind act.
Divine|Devoted to God. Religious. Sacred.
Blessing|The act or words of a person who blesses. A special favor, mercy, or benefit.
Bless(verb)|To make or pronounce holy.

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